Charm: Exiting a Conversation

Dear Reader,

To-day we will discuss the gift of leaving a conversation gracefully, whether in person or on the telephone wire. Back in my day, it was quite expensive to maintain relations via the telephone, especially when one had to share a party line; therefore, I will concentrate mostly on that of the group conversation.

When discussing matters in a group and one finds that she must avail herself to another task, she may simply state, "please excuse me, I must leave to do such and such". It is important, however, that she make eye contact with her cohorts and smile, as not to give a false impression that the current conversation has caused her boredom. One must not necessarily reveal the nature of her other call, but it must appear that the other matter is of some urgency or importance, as not to offend the onlookers. Additionally, it is polite to add a comment such as, "I have enjoyed speaking with you today--have a pleasant afternoon" or something of the sort. I have been in situations where a person who needs to leave the group just does so, without hesitation, and says nary a word as to the reason. This is most impolite, dear reader, and makes everyone else remaining feel puzzled and awkward. When finally taking one's leave, simply take one or two steps backward, while facing the group, and then turn to the side to walk away. It is most ungracious to leave a group with one's backside as the last view!

Now there is the matter of this newfangled device called CALL WAITING for telephone communications. As convenient as this is for emergencies, one cannot help but mention the absurdity of the interruption it causes, and the awkwardness it brings about when the recipient of such a notification must quickly tell her engaged partner that she must "hold" so she can take the other call, as she works around the "beeps" so her friend might understand her. This is most rude, and gives the phone partner the impression that the other caller is more important than she. If one is expecting an important call when a friend rings, she should politely explain to the friend same, and both may mutually decide to speak at some other time, or, permission is granted in such a way as to let the recipient of the call accept the interruption, should it arise. Otherwise, the call should be left to continue to an automated answer box. Typically, the "rule of thumb" is that the callee, not the caller, has the right to end the phone conversation first. However, at times, one must take her leave and break this rule. To do so, simply state a good reason for ending the conversation and thank the person for her time. There are many other duties of the household to handle that a telephone call is quite an interruption; the friend needs to know that her time away from her housework is valued.

Until next time...

HF