Charm: Jingle Bells, Only at Christmas, Please

Dear Reader,

I must write to you to-day about something that I heard over the week-end: a woman "jingling"! Have you ever heard of such a thing?! I dare say that none of you ever wants to be the subject of one of my posts, so I pray, dear reader, that you keep current on your loveliness program as not to be made an example of in one of my lessons.

Now to the subject at hand..."jingling". A lady ought not to make any sounds when she moves about. If this means that one must remove "clanky" jewelry from her person, than so be it. A lady ought also to ensure that her shoes, even if they are the latest fashion of the season, do not make noises when she walks. Additionally, if one must carry keys about (usually this would be the task of the husband), by all means, dear reader, get yourself a handbag! Do not clip such items to your belt as you will look like a telephone repair man and will sound like a cat wearing a bell around its neck. I am sure that for some men, it is enticing for a woman to be compared to an animal in regard to her feminine wiles (which is most inappropriate, regardless; a gentleman never compares a lady to an animal); however, being likened to one because of the audibility of one's locomotion is most repulsive. Ladies, please, keep some mystery about you! If you would like to draw attention to yourself (especially that of a potential suitor at that), do so by your charm, grace, and poise, not by the advertisement of your lack thereof.

Until next time...

HF