Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Mrs. Fillmore,

I have a few coworkers who are having babies in the Spring. I told my wife that "so and so" from the office was pregnant and she quickly rebuked me, telling me that I was using a vulgar word and that I should say, "expecting". I never thought that "pregnant" was a bad word. What is she talking about?

Sincerely,

Pregnant with Anticipation

Dear Mr. Anticipation,

Thank you so very much for your post. It is lovely to have male readers come to me for advice. So many men today try to fare on their own innate knowledge. It is nice to hear from you to-day. What is needed here is a lady's touch...

Now, to the question at hand. Just as a measurable difference exists between a "woman" and a "lady" (and may I say that any female who does not know the difference between the two would fall into the "woman" category), the same is present between the words "pregnant" and "expecting" (or "with child", "in a family way", "going to have a baby", etc.). The word "pregnant" in and of itself is not vulgar or bad, but it has its time and place, like the doctor's office. It should not be used in mixed company or around children. It just sounds common and too clinical, more like a feared diagnosis than a celebration of the birth of a child. There are many more polite alternatives to share the good news.

Now, it is important that you practice the usage of your new vocabulary. To say to your wife that someone is "expecting", for example, will seem awkward and uncomfortable at first, just because you are not used to it, but after a time, it will be music to your wife's ears. Just as it is uncomfortable for a factory worker to don a suit and tie for special occasions, over time, he becomes more comfortable in it, especially if the people with whom he surrounds himself are doing the same. If you are a lady of charm and poise (or one who is studying along this path--good for you!) who wants to class climb, follow the same rule.

Hildegarde's further advice on "class climbing": Associate with those with whom you would like to be associated. Sometimes it takes work, but you can get there if you are diligent in following my advice on beauty, etiquette, and charm. Take heart lady readers--the higher the climb, the larger the ring!

Happy New Year to all!

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.