Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Mrs. Fillmore,

I have a question...I have a friend who always talks on her cell phone when we are together or out at a restaurant. I don't think that the calls are emergencies, either. It makes me feel like she does not value my time and that bothers me. What should I do about this?

Sincerely,

Hung Up on Cell Phones

Dear Hung Up,

Thank you for your post. Here is my new phrase, "Listen to your Auntie Mabel, get your cell phones off the table!". I do think that despite the convenience of modern technologies, our lives are more interrupted than ever. A cell phone seems to be a necessary item these days, and an especially convenient one in the event of an emergency, especially one of a motoring nature. I do feel however, that the use of cell phones should be limited to times when one has an urgent need or when one needs to be available, that is, a parent of a young child at home with a babysitter, a doctor, etc., or when one is not engaged with the company of another. It is most rude to carry on a conversation on the cell phone when you are sitting at a restaurant with a friend, in a movie theater, or anywhere else, for that matter, when others are present. You would not leave a friend at a restaurant to go to the public telephone to have a social conversation, so why would you insist on having one on your cell phone at the table? This shows a lack of consideration for your friend, and for others in the establishment. Trust me, no one is interested in hearing another's phone conversation.

If one is either at home or out with another, whether it be family or friends, please turn off the cell phone. For most of us, there is nothing so important that it cannot wait an hour or so. Show some consideration for others with you and around you--subscribe to voice mail and turn off that phone.

Now, as far as confronting your friend about the situation, you may be as explicit as need be, and simply state to her something of this nature--perhaps you and she should get together at another time when she is not so busy. There isn't really anything else you can say without coming across as demanding. Perhaps she will get the message, perhaps not. It is up to you to determine if this friendship is worth keeping. If it is, you may want to be more forthcoming with how her cell phone usage when you are together is making you feel.

Best of luck! Write back and let me know your results!

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefilmore@hotmail.com.