Etiquette: Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary, Where Does Your Napkin Go?

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson is on the correct placement of the most useful of table accoutrements, the napkin, or serviette for the Canadian readers. Many have erred on the use of the napkin, so let's address this at once so you will be properly informed for your next dining occasion.

Firstly, it is important to use napkins whenever dining. I know of many a man who succumbs to the use of paper towels for his dabbing needs, but dear reader, this will not do! Invest in some linen damask napkins and keep them always at the ready. For a backyard barbecue, you may use some nice quality paper napkins.

When setting the table, the napkin is placed to the left of the silver, which is placed directly to the left of the dinner plate. You may also place the folded napkin in the center of the dinner plate. Do not place the silver directly on the napkin as this will cause you to have to move the silver to obtain the napkin, an ungainly and unnecessary step.

Of course, one must always follow her hostess' lead, but always place your napkin in your lap when you sit down at the table, unless of course, you are having cocktails first. Your napkin should be opened once at the fold, and placed caringly into your lap. Never make the mistake of tucking your napkin in your collar! This is in such bad taste that I cannot explain further. You will look like a dock worker if you do this. If you are wearing your best silk blouse, then eat cautiously, dear--don't detract from your loveliness by decorating yourself with a bib! Heavens!

If you must get up from the table during the meal, place your napkin in your chair as you leave, not on the table. No one eating wants to see your soiled linens, so remember this important step. When you return to the table, collect your napkin and place it back into your lap. When the meal is over, you may place your napkin on the table. When placing your napkin on the table at this time, it should be put on the table as it falls. Do not fold your napkin back into any sort of form; this shows that you are not used to servants collecting the linens and that you are used to cleaning up after yourself. Even if you are, don't let your little secret out!

Until next time...

HF