Charm: Hen-Pecked Henry

Dear Reader,

I could not avail myself of sleep tonight without writing to you about a certain subject. I simply must tell you of a situation I encountered at the doctor's office the other day. I was sitting in the waiting room, charmingly of course, when I overheard a woman belittling her husband, most likely of 50 years or so, and telling him what to do in a most ungracious manner. I was appalled at her behavior as I shared a "knowing glance" with one of the other waiting room patrons. This woman, definitely NOT a lady, was treating her husband terribly and was showing her lack of decorum in a most unbecoming manner. She threw on her own coat in haste as her elderly husband was trying to gather his belongings and walked up to the reception desk to check out at least five or six paces IN FRONT of her husband. What a disgrace. The lesson to be learned here is simply this: ladies, you must respect your husbands!

Now, let's move on to more detail. I cannot express how important it is for a lady to treat her husband well and to respect him, especially in public. I do understand that some husbands leave something to be desired, but dear, you should have known that before you married him and should have made better decisions! I am speaking here of your average, decent husband, although this advice will work on even the most ungentlemanly of men out there. Do you think for even a second that your husband works hard all day at the office wanting to come home to hear you squawking about mishaps of the day? Do you think that you husband enjoys your critiques of him, just as he is sitting down to relax from a hard day of business, or at any time of day, for that matter? Absolutely not. Now dear, I know the days of putting a ribbon in your hair before your husband comes home are long gone, and I know that we have supposedly been "liberated", but dear, really, do you think that disrespectful behaviors such as these are going to endear yourself to your husband? They certainly aren't going to get you that mink you have been eyeing! Especially for those of us who have the opportunity to leave the workplace to stay at home with our families--do you realize that your husband's efforts are what are allowing you such a lifestyle? Why in the world are you going to undermine him and emasculate him by your bossy comments and recommendations? My dear, we have so much to discuss! For the sake of brevity, I will provide a few pointers to keep your husband happy and your marriage in tip top shape:

1. Always speak well of your husband, especially in public.
2. Always treat your husband as you would want to be treated. There are times when each of us can annoy another person (although they will become few and far between if you follow the advice in my posts), but never let your frustration be shown in public. If you need to address a certain issue, by all means, use the privacy of your own home to do so.
3. Never greet your husband with your problems at the door when he comes home from his business. Unless your home has just recently been torched to the ground by a housefire, let him enjoy a cup of coffee or tea that you have lovingly prepared for him. Let him have some unwinding time after a hard day at the office, if only for a few minutes. When you come home from a long day of charity meetings and spa appointments, don't you like a few minutes to yourself?
4. Never give your husband a "honey-do list" on his day off or on the weekends, or ever for that matter. Your husband knows what needs to be done around the house. Let him decide when the work is to be done. If you are frustrated by something not getting done, by all means, hire out the work and surprise him!
5. If your husband is not the handy sort, you poor dear, don't nag him about this deficiency. Each man has specific strengths and weaknesses. Again, do the job yourself or by all means, hire it out. But--do not nag your husband about it.
6. Always remember that your husband is the head of the family. This means that you are to show respect for him, not only in front of others in public, but more importantly, in front of your children at home. Your children learn respect for others by what they witness on a daily basis in the home.
7. Let your husband know that he is special in every room of the house.

Ladies, trust Mrs. Fillmore, you will reap the rewards of your changed behavior toward your husbands. Treat him like a gentleman and the favor will surely be returned. You will find that your husband will be more frequently "at the ready" to open doors for you, to help you with your coat, and to pull your chair out for you at home and at the club. If you make your husband feel like a "man", he will feel confident about himself and will be much more eager to treat you like the "lady" that you are becoming. Add a touch of that signature fragrance and some lipstick and there will be no stopping you!

Until next time...

HF