Etiquette: Weddings, Weddings Everywhere...But What Gift Shall I Bring?

Dear Reader,

I was at my spa the other day when I overheard some ladies discussing what one of them, despite the fact that she could not attend the wedding, should send to the bride as a gift. The next statement made me swoon--the lady said, "I think I will send her a check". Now ladies, one does not ever send a check as a gift. That type of gesture is barely one at all and simply states, "You aren't worth the time it will take to select the proper gift for this special occasion." Hear this, ladies: sending money as a wedding gift is simply vulgar. I dare say that if you have ever done this, you should phone the bride immediately and apologize, even if she married thirty years ago.

Here are some parameters for a proper wedding gift. How much you spend is up to you, but at least you can note for yourself what a proper gift entails (a proper gift is always sent BEFORE the wedding to the bride, not brought to the event):

Wedding Shower: linens, every day china, every day utensils, small kitchen appliances (toaster, food processor, etc.)
Wedding: crystal, china, sterling, heirloom furniture pieces

It matters not that a couple starting out may have little funds. If you, ignoring my sound advice, send a check, know that it will be spent to pay bills and other debts, not used to purchase a special something to remind them of their wedding day, nor to remember the giver. It is up to us, dear reader, to educate the younger set in the ways of finery and the only way they will learn is if we assist by providing some of their crystal, china, and sterling for them. Most younger people of today will not go out and purchase these items for themselves, but they are simply required when one enters society and begins to host dinner parties, committee meetings, and garden luncheons. Should we be remiss in this area, you might see the lady of tomorrow serving the First Lady of the United States on a paper plate!

That is all for today, dear reader.

Until next time...

HF

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