Beauty: Beauty or Bust, Part II

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson will be a continuation of that which came previosuly, so again gentlemen, please avert your eyes so the ladies can read and learn about the second half of this discreet matter.

I would be remiss if I were to leave out any sort of writing regarding one's bottom half, that is, foundation garments for the lower half of the body. It is just as important for a lady of charm and poise to wear supportive garments on her torso and beyond as it is for her to maintain a good bustline. Here are some tips so you will always be correct:

1. Always wear undergarments on your lower half, always. There is no reason for a lady to walk about with an "unfurnished basement". Save this for the lowly sorry sorts seeking stardom from the press. To walk around "unfinished" is simply nothing but sordid and pedestrian behavior.

2. Always wear undergarments that COVER your lower half. There is no reason to wear furnishings which will reveal too much of your body. You want to have a smooth line from top to bottom: undergarments which are cut too skimpily will only confirm a lack of class. It has been reported and proven that there is a clear relationship between class and undergarment preferences. The less material you wear, the lower your class. There is absolutely NO need for a lady to wear thong underwear. It is simply grotesque. One might as well wear nothing at all. If you decide to wear thong underwear, you might as well set up housekeeping by the nearest bowling alley as you will surely fit in there. Bikini style underwear is only one rung up the ladder, so save your charm and buy nice fitting brief panties.

3. Always wear undergarments which are plain in nature. No animal prints, daisies, etc. You left your teenage years long ago; it is time for you to act as the lady you are becoming. Proper ladies always wear plain undergarments, and undergarments which match. Your brassiere and panties should always be in the same color and should also match your slip. Buy different sets in the following colors: nude, black, and white. You will always be correct and will save time when dressing. If you insist on wearing printed patterns, please discontinue your subscription to my column as there is no longer hope for you, dear. I will see you on the next episode of COPS.

4. When wearing white or beige (or any light color for that matter) outer clothes, always wear undergarments which match your skin tone as not to show through. Of course, we wear nude. Colored women and women of ethnic tendencies should wear darker colors which match their natural skin tone. The converse applies for wearing darker colors. Wear darker undergarments with darker outer clothing, regardless of your skin tone. It looks simply dowdy to see white peeking from underneath a black cashmere sweater!

5. Always wear a slip when wearing a dress or skirt. The slip will give you a nice line and will help your clothes hang better on your body. The slip also prevents any "peekaboo" instances. There still are some men out there who will always be on the lookout for a showing of some skin or even a shadow of what lies in secret.

5. Always wear a girdle. The only exception is if you are under the age of 25 and are in immaculate shape. No one can deny the benefits of this gravity defying miracle. Even those who consider themselves "in shape" can benefit from the extra support. A girdle also eliminates panty lines, another distraction from daintiness. Always wear a panty girdle, even with trousers. If you are wearing a dress or skirt, you will benefit from a full girdle, usually including a brassiere top.

6. Lastly, always wear stockings when wearing a dress, skirt, or trousers. The only times you are free from stockings are when you are engaged in an athletic activity or when sleeping. No one should ever see bare skin on your legs, with the exception of the wearing of a tennis skirt at the club.

Well dear reader, I hope that this lesson has reminded you of your responsibilities in the undergarment department. If you are missing any of these items, by all means, go shopping and at once! Your repuatation depends on it.

Until next time...

HF