Etiquette: RSVPs

Dear Reader,

Well...I must say that I am quite refreshed, having just returned from a nice, long summer away. I hope that you did not miss me too much. I hate to say that I come back already with some material for my column. Are those of you out there reading not quite yet up to par when it comes to my etiquette advice? I think that you are! It is those who are not reading my column who suffer the dread of ill manners and disgusted glares from onlookers. Well...off to the topic of the day...RSVPs.

Dear, do you know that RSVP means? It comes from the French and basically means "please respond". It does not mean "throw away the invitation and forget about it" or "ignore the email asking to reschedule a meeting". It is asking you to do the LEAST you can do--be courteous enough to respond to someone who is asking for your attention. I cannot tell you how absolutely rude it is to ignore someone who is trying to ask for some of your time. Even if you are not sure about an event or a meeting, at least tell the person who is calling for you. She will understand and can at least mark you down as a possibility. Do not, not even for a minute, think that it is the responsbility of the hostess to contact you to find out your response. She is busy about her social engagements and should never have to do that. It is your responsbility, dear reader, to follow up, as any lady would, to your invitations, social or otherwise, promptly and courteously.

Here are some guidelines so you will always be correct:

1. Always respond to the hostess by the date mentioned in the invitation.
2. Respond in kind: paper invites require a paper response; telephone invites require a telephone response, etc.
3. If there is no RSVP date listed, respond within 3 days of receipt of the invitation.

This is so easy, dear. There is no need to ever be in error. The only exception is if you are on holiday when the invitation arrives and you are unable to respond as you are away until after the reply date. Of course, this will be rare as you should have your maid or valet open up your mail whilst you are away.

Good tidings my friends!

Until next time...

HF