Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Mrs. Fillmore,

My 17 year old daughter is going to her prom. She is adamant about not wearing stockings, and I am adamant that she will. She will be wearing a long formal dress and three-inch gold heels, toe out! She thinks that getting her toes done is sufficient.

My opinion is that it is a formal affair, with a male date in tuxedo, and that she should wear stockings.

What is the proper etiquette?

***

Dear Reader,

Thank you for writing in about your predicament. This is a difficult situation as there are strict rules to be followed here and at the same time, delicate feelings of a teenager which must be considered. In my day, we were covered from head to toe regardless of the time of day, so this would have never been a question; however, times have changed, so let's take a look together at the options placed before us.

Since I do consider myself an authority on these matters, I feel that I also have the authority to bend the rules slightly. We do need to be aware of what is happening in the teen world; however, if charm or modesty would be compromised, if your daughter wanted to wear a plunging neckline, an open midsection, or a short dress for example, I would be ever so strict about your daughter's costume. This situation is a little different as the dress is of the proper formal floor length, covering anything delicate, including the knees and ankles. As much as I am personally aghast at the lack of stockings in fashion today, I feel it may be acceptable to allow your daughter to go without for this one occasion, especially if teen fashion so dictates. I must tell you that if you insist upon her wearing them, they will be removed as soon as you are out of sight anyway, so letting your daughter know that you care about her feelings by allowing this one exception will do wonders for your relationship. However, please do instruct her on the proper etiquette of stockings (basically ALWAYS wearing them) hence forward. Now, before we leave this topic, it would be wise for your daughter to wear bloomers underneath her dress, just down to the knee. This will prevent any "peek-a-boo" issues should she trip and fall or be twirling around on the dance floor.

Additionally, I congratulate your daughter's acknowledgment that a pedicure is most necessary here. One should never wear open-toed shoes or sandals without having a pedicure.

I hope this advice assists you with your quandary. Best of everything and have a wonderful prom!

Until next time...

HF

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