Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Ms. Fillmore,

Last night we were out to dinner with some neighbors. The server took away all the silver after the main course. She returned with cream pie and placed a teaspoon to rest at the right side of the pie plate. The spoon was turned down. I asked for a fork. Then my husband said, "Please contact Hildegard to ask about this situation!" Please advise if I was to use the spoon and was in error asking for a fork. Thank you so much Hildegarde.

Dear Cream Pie Lover,

Thank you so very much for writing in. Sometimes, utensil questions can be the most challenging, but not for me, of course. Years of practice and attendance at the finest cotillions and State dinners make a girl quite confident in this arena. Now, back to your question. I personally prefer a fork with any kind of pie. So of course, I see no fault in asking for one at your restaurant. The restaurant is probably assuming that since the dessert contains a pudding-like portion, a spoon is needed, as is when ice cream is served. However, I feel that the pie crust can be too tricky to manage with a spoon at times. I do not feel you were in error asking for a fork; you want to be at your most lovely and dainty and if using a fork instead of a spoon (in this situation) will make you appear that way, I see no reason for worry. Now, this situation would be completely different if you were in someone's home. You always want to follow your hostess' lead, even if she is making a utensil mistake. One of the purposes of the knowledge of etiquette is make others feel comfortable; drawing attention to your hostess' table manners shortcomings would not serve you well in your loveliness program, nor would it endear you to another dinner invitation. At the Queen's supper, follow the Queen, as it were.

I hope this advice has been helpful to you. Keep your chin up, dear, and you will show others the confidence you have as you continue on your journey toward beauty, grace, and charm.

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.