Etiquette: Which Comes First, the Present or the Card?

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson comes about as a result of the myriad of social engagements I had to attend this weekend. Mrs. Fillmore's social calendar is always so full of lovely invitations! See, reader, this will happen to you as well if you follow my practical advice. You will always be on a guest list somewhere!

Now to the question at hand...when receiving a gift, is it proper to open the card first, or the present first? Well...I dare say that this is no dilemma, but I will explain for those of you not traveled so far along in your loveliness program. Persons of charm and grace will always open the card first for this very reason: it is always polite to announce the presenter of the gift before opening it. Here is an example so you will always be correct: open the card accompanying gift #1 and read it thoughtfully, although not aloud (the giver may have written a personal sentiment inside that is to be kept private), and then announce to your guests, "Ahhh...this gift is from my dear Uncle Ken. How thoughtful". Of course, everyone knows that Uncle Ken gives very tasteful and classic gifts, so he will wait in great anticipation as you delicately peel open the gloriously wrapped package. If one waits until the package has been opened to announce the giver, the chances that the card has been lost in the discarded wrapping are all too great, leaving the bearer unnoticed and feeling downtrodden and you embarrassed as you clumsily dig through the rubble, trying to give credit where credit is due. So the answer is: card first!

Some other tips about receiving gifts:

1. ALWAYS make a positive comment about the gift, even if it is the most dreadful thing you have ever seen in your life! The bearer must feel appreciated and warmly thanked. A thank you note is always appropriate for later on, even if the gift were opened in the presence of the giver.

2. NEVER announce the amount of money or gift card/cheque given within a card. This is for the recipient's eyes only and it is more than tacky to announce to your guests any financial information that might be contained within the card. Politely thank the giver. You may announce to the group that you received a gift card to such and such store or that you received some money for such and such a purpose, but NEVER the amount. The only time it is appropriate to announce an amount is if you are a check girl at the five and ten or if you are comparing notes with your tax accountant.

Dear reader, I wish you pleasant party-going over these last few summer days.

Until next time...

HF

Charm: Daughters of the American Revolution

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson is one of patriotism and valor. It is always becoming for a lady to support her nation with pride. One can never err when supporting its nation or troops. I must warn the lady who would become one of charm that a true lady of breeding never speaks ill about the President, especially in public, regardless of her personal feelings about him or his work. We are to support and pray for those in leadership among us.

Now, having gotten that out into the open, I would encourage ladies of charm, both young and old, to help spread the feeling of patriotism for our great nation by joining a local historical, patriotic, or civic society. I personally would recommend the Daughters of the American Revolution. Those ladies do such excellent work and have such a lovely and charming motto: "God, Home, and Country". They have been around since 1890! You could also become a member of an auxilliary of a local Foreign or American Legion and support the men who are members.

Visit the DAR's fine website for more information: www.dar.org.

Until next time...

HF