Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Dear Reader,

I should like to take this opportunity to wish you the warmest of holidays this season. Mr. Fillmore and I will be celebrating with our families, so I will thusly take the rest of the year off. I feel it will be a well deserved vacation, don't you?

Please watch your manners and show your families and friends how much you have progressed over this year. Put forth your best and most dainty self for all the world to see. As long as you have been following my advice, the world will not be disappointed.

Remember to celebrate Christmas in its true sense, not the giving and receiving of commercial packages, although they do make very appropriate hostess gifts, but rather the coming of Jesus Christ into the world to save us from our sins. Please do your best to honor this occasion by attending church services in your area. Remember to dress modestly and with care, of course.

Well dear, best to you in 2008!

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.

Charm: Whistler's Mother

Dear Reader,

I have recently received a delightful request to write about whistling. Now, we are not discussing the happy whistling that is sometimes acceptable when one works (outdoors only, please--there is no need to whistle at your desk at your place of business. That is simply annoying to all of your coworkers regardless of your whistling prowess. Unless you are a dwarf who answers to a name that is also an adjective, keep it zipped, please.). We are discussing women, and notice I use the term "women" and not "ladies", whistling through their fingers. There is NEVER an appropriate time for a female to impart a loud whistling sound from her lips. This action is wholly obnoxious and must be stopped immediately. Why on earth would someone whistle like that? Dear, are you trying to get someone's attention? For Heaven's sake, call her on her cell phone; the likelihood is that your friend does have one. If you have the task of working with animals, please, buy yourself a dog whistle; at my last check, I do believe that they are still manufactured. Would you like to quiet a room of ladies before the luncheon and historical program begin? Simply dim the lights on and off. Are you trying to show your favoritism for a certain sports team whilst in the stands? A simple, "bravo!" or "go team!" will suffice. Whistling through the fingers is a very barbaric thing to do. If you read my previous posts, you will note that any sort of sound that is not speech or song eminating from a person is most unattractive and must be prevented and/or dispensed with in private. Dear, this is now the 21st century. Please find some other way of communicating which will not detract from your daintiness and loveliness program.

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.

Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Reader,

To-day we will revisit one of my old favorites: "Dear Hildegarde". I usually save this for my Friday column, but since I received a question mid-week, I will address it in kind...

Dear Mrs. Fillmore,

What does one do about sets of doors? If your gentleman friend opens the outer door is it appropriate and courteous to open the inner door for him? Or, since this is a casual circumstance, hold the door open for him as you walk through it? I encounter this every day coming in and out of the dorm.

Signed,
Carol

Dearest Carol,

I hope that you are enjoying happily your life as a college co-ed! There is no experience like it--this is a nice time of life: no encumbrances--just you and the world. Encumbrances can be wonderful, but enjoy your freedom to discover the path set for you during these early adult years.

Now, to your question. Please remember that etiquette is a journey to be had in the consideration of others. It is not merely a set of rules, which occasionally when followed, are designed to create a new set of encumbering circumstances. That having been said, I will give you my thoughts for two different scenarios. If you are "with" a man, meaning your date for the evening, your father or brother, or merely a classmate coming over to your dorm to study (in the public area, mind you), of course, the young (or old, as the case may be) man should absolutely open both doors for you as a gesture of gentlemanly courtesy. You are travelling as a couple, as it were, and he should treat you as the feminine half. Here is the second scenario: if you are entering your dorm and a random person happens to be within the vicinity, of course, he may open your door. However, once you enter, you may feel free to open the inner door for the other party, or walk thorugh first and hold it open for him. It does not make sense for a casual acquaintence to rush to open both doors for you. However, if this is a date, he absolutely must do so. It is a different relationship and thus calls for different rules.

I know you, dear. You are a thoughtful, courteous, young lady. I feel it best to leave this to your discretion. Knowing the rules now "on paper", do what seems appropriate (keeping in mind that I will expect a report back from you during your Christmas break). It is those who know the rules who also have the savvy to finesse them.

Best to you, my dear!

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.

Etiquette: Time is of the Essence

Dear Reader,

I hasten to write to you to-day regarding this matter of timeliness. I have seen so many of you late to to meetings, luncheons, and even to church worship services recently. What is it about your day that you cannot allocate your time as to not embarrass yourself by showing up to an event later than reqested?

One of the most important reasons to be on time is to show respect for others. When one enters an event late, it shows that she does not care enough about the other people who are on time and does not care that her late entrance will cause a disruption to the festivities. Being late says, "I'm selfish and unorganized". I don't care what personality one has, she must organize her life in such a manner as to be able to make all of her appoinments. Otherwise, she should reduce her obligations to the point where they are manageabe.

Now, there is that OCCASIONAL time when one must be late--traffic accidents, emegencies, etc. In that instance, by all means, contact your hostess to let her know you will be delayed. With the advent of cell phones, there is no reason to make anyone worry about your well being.

Take the time to be on time, my readers!

Until next time...

HF