Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Hildegarde,

I received an invitation the other day to a luncheon/fashion show fundraiser in New York. I would love to take my children along, but am not sure if it is appropriate or not. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Attached at the Hip

Dear Attached,

Thank you for your kind note. I must express that I am pleased that you have come to me for advice in this area before you made a most unbecoming error. Too often, parents take for granted that their children are welcome everywhere; this is not the case. Here are my thoughts on the subject...

First of all, when one receives an invitation, and this should be obvious, but apparently not to some among us, the names listed on the invitation are the names of the people who are desired at the respective event. If the intention were for a child, a mother-in-law living in, or other houseguests to be invited, their names would be on the invitation as well. Do I make myself clear here, dear? Never assume that additional persons are to be included as part of your invitation.

Having explained the "rule", here is what to do if there is some question. It is always the hostess' prerogative to decide who enters her home, club, or the place where the said event is taking place. Therefore, if for some reason, you are unable to retain a sitter for your children, or a caregiver for your elderly mother-in-law, etc., simply let the hostess know that you are unable to attend her event due to these circumstances. DO NOT call to ask if your child, mother-in-law, or other houseguest may attend. This is most impolite and puts the hostess in an incredibly awkward position. The hostess has the option to either extend an invitation for the additional guests (children, etc.), or to politely give her regret and then continue planning her engagement. You should not be offended if an additional invitation is not extended to your children or houseguests. Wouldn't you desire the same courtesy?

It is important that you learn this "rule". Take heart, dear reader. As you show others that you have respect and courtesy for them, you will not only be clilmbing up the next step on the ladder of your loveliness program, but you will also be spending more time planning your social calendar and answering all of those invitations you will be receiving.

Until next time...

HF

Do you have a question for Mrs. Fillmore? Please send an email to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.

Beauty: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Dear Reader,

To-day we will discuss the beauty and care for your crowning glory, your hair. It is most important, especially these days with all of the pollution and environmental concerns, to care for your locks. First of all, I must impress upon you how important it is to manage the health and vitality of your hair. Even the most attractive style from Georgette Klinger will not look its beauty best if your hair is dry, breaking, and out of condition in general. Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. See your beautician and ask for recommendations for hair products that will work best for your type of hair. You can expect her to recommend the following:

Shampooing
Cream Rinse
Hair Mask (or deep conditioning for weekly use)
Special Treatments (for hair damaged by too frequent bonnet drying or hair irons)

2. Once you get your hair into shape, revisit your beautician and have her recommend a style that is flattering to your face shape, age, and lifestyle. Nothing is more unattractive than seeing a woman with hair that looks like a wet mop, just hanging on the sides of her face. It doesn't take much time, dear, to go from looking like a wet mop to looking like a beauty queen; it just takes a little effort. Isn't it worth an extra ten minutes and some hot rollers to make that hair of yours shine and your man's eyes (when he sees you) as well? Like your hands, your hair says alot about you; if you don't care for it, you are sending a message to others that you do not have respect for yourself or your loveliness program. This must not happen!

3. As you grow into your new hair care, hair setting, and hair maintenance program, you may notice that there are some additional concerns that arise. One of these is the need for coloring. I know, dear reader, that our Victorian grandmothers thought that only tramps and trollops entered this arena; however, times have changed and it is important that one revisits this world if need be. If you notice some of those ugly grays appearing, by all means, color your hair. A full head of grays can be most becoming on a woman of 50 or older, but not for the young among us. If you are younger than 50 and are graying, please see your beautician at once to have this problem remedied. Otherwise, you might look like one of those bag ladies collecting coins from the fountain!

Well dear reader, I hope that to-day's lesson has inspired you to take a look at yourself and to become your beauty best. Make the time now to care for your hair. You will feel good about yourself, and others will, too.

Until next time...

HF