Etiquette: What's Your Sign?

Dear Reader,

I hope you enjoy the title for my post to-day. I remember those days when the young chaps in the discotechs used to ask my granddaughters that question. I remember asking the girls what that meant. I was surprised at their answer--why would someone want to get to know another based upon a birthdate? Does a birthdate supersede charm, poise, and loveliness? I think perhaps it might have back then, based upon some of the old photographs I have seen recently. Well, I digress. On to the topic at hand...signatures.

My dear, I must inform you of the proper way to sign documents of a formal social nature. I do not mean legal briefs, bank drafts, or contracts, but rather guest registers at hotels, weddings, funerals, and the like. When one is confronted with signing a register in a social formal setting, the proper way to sign is with one's formal name. For example, one would sign with her husband's name, if married (Mrs. John Smith) or her own name, if unmarried (Miss Mary Smith). A widowed woman may also sign with her husband's name. A divorced woman may properly sign her name carrying her husband's last name, but her first name (Mrs. Jean Tucker). A married woman is never to sign her first name in these situations unless she wants to imply that she is a divorcee, which would be most unbecoming. If one's husband is accompanying her to such events, the register listing should also be properly documented as "Mr. and Mrs. So and So". The title of "Ms." is dreadfully feminist in nature and is never appropriate in social settings. One is either "Miss" or "Mrs." "Ms." is only acceptable in business, and gingerly at that. Think of the message a girl is sending to potential suitors when "Ms." is used! It clearly states, "I am a progressive woman and I don't cook, clean, or enjoy household tasks, and I smoke on the street." I hope I have made myself clear, dear reader.

If attendance at a wedding or funeral is a necessary part of business (a death of a colleague, etc.), one's obligation is first socially, second professionally. This means that the rules are the same. If one chooses, albeit unwisely, to be a "Ms." at the office, she is still a "Miss" or a "Mrs." once she leaves the confines of same to attend such a ceremony. The gentleman who is worth his salt always scans the social register to see where he stands in comparison to the rest of the guests. If you are a "Miss", wouldn't you want him to see you listed there properly? No gentleman wants to marry a "Ms."!

I hope this lesson to-day will allow you to display your newly learned decorum when you are attending such functions. If you follow these simple rules, when someone asks you about your sign, you can respond discreetly to yourself, "my sign is one which reads: 'I am a charming lady of loveliness who knows and follows the rules.'"

Until next time...

HF

Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Ms. Hildegarde,

I agree with your recent post [Charm: How Much is that Doggie in the Window?] regarding the impropriety of discussing finances. How would you suggest I respond to such a rude inquiry?

Signed,
anonymous

Dear anonymous,

Thank you for your post. It is amazing how so many people find it acceptable to be so intrusive into others' lives. I am pleased to see that you are already on your way to being full of grace and poise as you seek to better yourself in your dealings with others.

As I mentioned in my post, the best you can do is to try to redirect the conversation onto another topic. Housework is always a favorite, especially among women. If you are speaking with men (although this would be most inappropriate unless your husband is present), a good discussion on the sporting crowd usually does the trick.

However, some of those people are so persistent, at times, you may be brought to a point of discomfort. The worst way to handle this situation is to be rude back to Mr. or Mrs. Nosy by saying something like, "that is none of your business". That would all but completely damage all of your hard work toward your goal of loveliness and charm. You also do not want to show a lack of respect for the other person, especially if he or she is older than you. I feel the best response is to do what we ladies do best--play "dumb". Just respond by saying, "I am not quite sure about that" or just spontaneously create some ridiculous answer. Perhaps you will look foolish, but your financial secrets and your charm will remain intact!

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: Introduction on Introductions

Dear Reader,

To-day we will cover a topic that is confusing for many of you--the topic of how to introduce others and how to be introduced to others. We are not speaking to-day of the cotillion or the debutante ball, where one is introduced to society (although I will address this subject at a later time). We are speaking now about personal introductions which you will encounter on an everyday basis. As I am quite sure that those of you who must make regular meetings with Presidents, Heads of State, Ambassadors and the like haven't time to read my posts, I will discuss the basic information about introductions here for the casual reader and write in more detail for the active attache in a later post.

The first item about introductions is that you should make them. No bridge luncheon or dinner party with a mixture of guests will go well if no one knows one another. In formal circles, one must be introduced to someone else before beginning a conversation. It is the responsibility of the hostess to ensure that guests at her affair who have not been previously acquainted with others be properly introduced so that they might begin enjoying conversation and the evenings festivities. As you plan your party, keep in mind your guest list and how you can encourage polite conversation amongst those friends who have not already made an acquaintance. For example, you know that Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones both summer in the Hamptons and are in the business of finance, but have not yet met. Your party would be a perfect place for a new friendship, or at least a golf partnership, to bud between these two!

An additional situation which would require introductions is on a public place or on the street. It is most impolite to be at tea or walking on the street with someone and see an acquaintance of yours and not introduce your friend. How insensitive is it to stand there on the street and have a new conversation with someone, all whilst your engagement for the afternoon stands there idly, hopelessly, not knowing what to do with herself. If you have ever been in this situation, dear reader, you know the embarrassment and awkwardness the situation can create. Try not to repeat this gross error if you ever want your circle of friends to grow. Additionally, it is best to remove your persons from the street and enter a tea house or cafe. It is most rude to block the traffic of pedestrians as you engage yourself in idle chit chat.

Now you ask, "how do I make such introductions?". Never fear, dear reader, I would not leave you hanging in this regard! Here are some basic rules to remember so you will always be correct (there are some exceptions to note, however):

1. The younger is always introduced to the older
Example: "Grandfather, I would like for you to meet a chap from my college business class."
2. A man is always introduced to the woman (unless the man is a Head of State or the Pope)
Example: " Mrs. Smith, I would like for you to meet Mr. Jones."
3. A person of superior position (importance) is always introduced to a person of inferior position
Example: "Your Honor, I would like for you to meet my sister, Marge Wilson."

All you need to remember is to say the proper name first, that is, the older, the lady, or the person of importance. The rest will come to you easily. In addition, it is kind to add some nice anecdote if you would like for the persons to become more acquainted than simply for the sheer politeness of the introduction. Example: "Miss Smith, I would like for you to meet Mr. Horace Greeley. Mr. Greeley, please meet Miss Mable Smith. Mr. Greeley also plays bridge on Thursday nights at the community center...". Please remember to use the first and last names of the people you are introducing; otherwise, you may hear your friends say after you leave, "Horace who??". If you happen to be in this situation of not knowing someone's last name, take heart dear reader, simply ask, "I am sorry, but I do not know your last name." If the person has even one ounce of charm, she will respond kindly with the information.

When you are introduced to someone, it is polite to extend a hand of acknowledgment, but only if you follow these specific rules:

1. A younger person never extends his or her hand to the older
2. A man never extends his hand to a lady
3. A person of less importance never extends his or her hand to a person of more importance

The proper person always has the choice of whether to extend a hand or not. However, in business, although it is a lady's privilege to extend her hand to a man, she should never do so to someone who is of superior position within the firm. The right in this situation is reserved for the person of superior position.

Lastly, even if you feel that the person you are meeting is simply ghastly (in which case dear, you need to find a different set of friends!), you must respond with a pleasant comment such as, "I am pleased to meet you" or "I am so happy to know you, dear". It is also courteous to remain with your new acquaintance for at least five to ten minutes to make some additional polite conversation. After that, no more commitment is needed. Please see my previous post on how to exit a conversation gracefully so you will have the next step ready!

Well, dear reader, you will sleep tonight knowing that you can properly introduce others. By maintaining this special skill, you will show to others that you can be confident in any situation. Being a charming hostess requires this skill. Now that you have it, why not throw a little party this weekend to show off how poised and gracious you are!

Until next time...

HF

Charm: Oh no! Cover Your Mouth, Dear

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson is about yawning. Everyone must do it--I have read in a science text that one must yawn in order to send more oxygen to the brain. We all would like oxygenated brains, I am sure. Healthy brains enhance our charm by allowing us to have interesting information stored for our immediate use during a conversation with another. But, I digress. To the topic at hand...I was watching the 2006 Winter Olympic Games on the television the other night when, to my dismay, I witnessed one of our great nation's best speed skaters yawn publicly on television, without covering his mouth! He looked like he was trying to catch flies or scream in agony; it was most unbecoming. How awful that that very ungentlemanly moment was captured on tape for all to see! This reasonably attractive and charming skater ruined his debonair demeanor by this sordid action. What a shame--he gave such a pleasant interview. Unless he wins the gold medal, this is how he will be remembered by the Americans...and the rest of the world, for that matter.

The simple remedy for this natural body function is to cover one's mouth. No one wants to see your dental work, dear. However, if you have recently had some work done, by all means, show it off with a smile! Remember this simple advice and you will never be "skating on thin ice" next time you are out with that special beau.

Until next time...

HF

Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Hildegarde,

Is it proper to place salad dressing on the dining table? What is the proper way to pass the salt and pepper if you would like to use it also? Who gets to use it first? Please advise...

Sincerely,
Alwaysata Loss

Dear Ms. Loss,

How commendable to recognize your deficiencies and to call upon my expertise at this fine hour! The first step in becoming charming is to know that improvement is needed. I wasn't always the charming and gracious hostess that I am today, if that is possible for you to believe. Everyone must start somewhere! Dear Reader, you too can become a delicate flower of a lady with my simple and practical advice.

Now, to your questions. You may place salad dressing on your table; however, it must be in a nice decanter or serving bowl with a spoon. NEVER put any condiment on the table in its original container if you want to present yourself a charming and dutiful hostess. The only exception is if you are at a backyard BBQ with family or very close friends--then it is most practical to be simple and to protect your fine china, sterling, and crystal. You may use the original plastic containers in this instance, but in this instance only.

As for the salt and pepper, firstly, they must ALWAYS be passed together. It matters not if the salt or pepper were requested singly; salt and pepper must always remain a couple. It is always best to have the salt and pepper passed directly to the person who requested them. Even if you would like to use these extraordinary spices first, it may put a question in requester's eye if you "but in" and use them, even if it is making its way by your place at the table first. Always send the condiments directly to the requester, then ask for them back politely. For example, you may say, "would you mind passing the salt and pepper after you have finished with them?", etc. This is most important at a society dinner. Now, if you are among those delightful friends of your inner circle or family, you may interrupt the flow by saying politely to the requester, "would you mind if I used the salt and pepper before it arrives your way?". This lets the requester know that you are considerate of her feelings and of course, she will not object. However, this exception is only acceptable in the circumstance I have mentioned. Never do this at the White House or you for certain will not be invited to return! One way to avoid this dilemma entirely is to provide salt and pepper cellars (along with their respective spoons) for each guest.

I hope this helps your quandaries, dear reader. Take this advice and you will enter the next phase of your loveliness program!

Until next time...

HF

Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered

Dear Reader,

Beginning tomorrow, each Friday I will be answering the questions you have posed to me throughout the week in my new column entitled, "Dear Hildegarde: Your Questions Answered". There have been such an abundance of curiosities in response to my postings. I will select the questions that are most applicable to your etiquette, charm, and beauty program.

I would love to hear from you, dear reader. You may ask questions of me via my postings or send me an electronic mail message to hildegardefillmore@hotmail.com.

My expertise is available to all! Don't wait too long to begin your loveliness program.

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: Pass the Salt, Please

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson comes about, albeit unfortunately, from an experience I had earlier this morning at a club meeting. I must say that I am disappointed that two women with whom I have made an acquaintance behaved in such a way that I had to write this post! Of course, because I am highly familiar with the rules of decorum, I will not mention this post to them, as not to cause unjust embarrassment (no lady of charm EVER corrects another's manners, especially in public!--a mother correcting her child is the ONLY exception, and this as well calls for utmost discretion); however, if they come upon this post per chance, then let this be a lesson to them!

We are discussing the art of passing, not of dying my dear (we will leave that for another day's lesson), but passing, that is, handing something to someone else. There is an art to this, dear reader, so do not let yourself be surprised by this instruction. I will take to-day's example: one lady on my left wanted to pass a note to the lady on my right. Well, you can imagine my disgust and astonishment when the lady to my left simply thrust the note in front of my face, waiting for her recipient to collect it. I had to control my facial expression as not to embarrass either of these ladies or lose my composure; however, you will now find two fewer names listed on my bridge luncheon invitation list! I will proceed to explain the proper way to deliver such an item:

1. First of all, one should not be passing notes or other items during a club meeting or other gathering unless it is an absolute emergency. It is disrespectful to the speaker and disruptive to the others in the audience. If there is no emergency, simply wait until after the function to discuss your matter.
2. If an emergency arises, politely ask the person sitting next to you (in a delicate whisper--discretion is most important here) to kindly pass the note to the person opposite her and ask the person's pardon for your actions. Practically speaking, simply state something like, "I hate to impose upon you like this, but would you mind passing this note to Mrs. So and So on your right--it is quite important." Anytime one of your body parts must cross another's path, please ask permission, and then ask to be pardoned. No one is appreciative of body parts in her personal space, unless of course you are married, then your husband's person should be eagerly welcomed (we will also discuss this when we have a more discrete moment).

At table:

The above rules apply again for passing food or condiments at table. Here is an example so you will be correct:

"Mother, would you mind passing me the salt, please?" (of course dear, you have tasted your food first before asking for any additional condiments). Each person passes the item to her immediate neighbor until it arrives at its final destination. No reaching in front of anyone else, please.

If your are a hostess at a dinner party and do not have hired help (you poor dear!), you may clear the dishes (or better yet, employ your well behaved children in this regard), from each guest's right. Remember this little ditty, "leave from the left, remove from the right" as to never infringe upon a guest's view or space. Good hired help should know this, but do monitor your servants before hosting your dinner party of society guests.

Well, dear reader, that is all for to-day. I hope that this lesson will assist you in maintaining your position in your community. No note passing or rude table behavior is ever worth the risk of being removed from the social register, or worse yet, from my personal address book.

Until next time...

HF

Charm: How Much is that Doggie in the Window?

Dear Reader,

To-day we will discuss a topic which might make some of you feel somewhat uncomfortable, but for the good of all, I feel it a subject worth addressing. The topic at hand is that of discussing anything of a financial nature with others. Here is the rule: unless you are engaged in a business transaction with another, the subject of money or finances (short of speculating on the market's activities in a general nature) should never enter a conversation--not ever. Why, dear reader, do you need to know how much someone paid for something, a house, some new stockings, a new dress, an automobile, or where her husband's investments lie? It is most unnecessary and I dare say that you are interested in this information to judge your worth against that of your neighbor. Why do you need to know what someone paid for an item or the amount of a friend's husband's annual wages? You are going to judge the situation based upon your own ideas--then you are going to gossip to your friends and family about it! No lady of charm can honestly say that she is "just curious" about these matters. It is none of your concern, quite frankly. The lady of charm and poise realizes this and goes about her own business. However, if you have not yet finished your etiquette course and mastered discretion, let the question lie, dear reader. Keep your nosiness to yourself and call a local retailer or do your own research to find out prices. Don't ask your friend and put her in an awkward and compromising position, having to deflect your rude line of questioning!

Now, on the "flip side" of things, dear reader, you should also not volunteer information of the same subject. Ladies of charm know the subjects which require much discretion, and finances is one of them. If you are a working girl, do not share the amount of your annual wages with friends and neighbors. This is private information and no good will come to you by sharing it with others.

My brother in law put it best when he stated, "whenever people discuss money, someone always feels bad." And he is right. So, my advice is to steer the conversation to a different, lighter, and more pleasing topic, like housework. You will be relieved of the awkwardness of the topic of finances and joyful when you see how elated your friends are to have the opportunity to discuss matters of housekeeping.

Until next time...

HF

Beauty: The Long and Short of Nails (and Hands)

Dear Reader,

To-day we will discuss the topic of fingernails and their proper grooming. I must get right down to business about the subject and not waste too much time with formalities--this is indeed a most important matter. This topic comes about as a result of my shopping earlier to-day. The check-out girl at my local apothecary had the most dreadful looking fingernails: uneven lengths, raw chapped hands, and ragged looking cuticles. This, my dear, is a definite "no-no" if you ever want to be respected within your community. The nails and hands tell alot about the lady. If your nails are not maintained properly, and so easily done so, what does this say to an onlooker about the rest of you? If you cannot take the time to care for your hands and nails, at least make an appointment with your local manicurist! For those who have the time to pamper themselves, I offer to you the following grooming tips:

1. Wash hands and fingernails regularly, especially during the cold winter months.
2. Trim your fingernails so the lengths are even with one another, that is, each nail shows the same amount of "white".
3. File your nails into a pleasing shape; slightly rounded is the most attractive these days.
4. Ensure that not one speck of dirt appears underneath the nail--use a nailbrush if you have to to ensure maximum cleanliness.
5. Push your cuticles back gently and trim off any excess with cuticle scissors.
6. Massage your nails and hands with a thick cream for hydration and adequate blood circulation--allow to soak in.
7. Apply nail color or clear lacquer to the nails, making sure to clean up any mistakes as you work.
8. Sit back, relax, and smile as your nails dry. You have just taken your next step toward loveliness!

Your goal is to have soft, milky white, hydrated hands with lovely and delicate fingernails. Always wear gloves to protect your hands from the elements and to keep your manicure looking fresh.

Take the time, dear reader, to become a perfectionist with these tasks. Take a look around at the hands of the girls you know. Notice the ones that are not maintained properly. Are those the hands of a lady that a man would like get to know better? Your hands say more about you then you know. Strive for hands that say, "I am a charming person. I take care of myself, my home, and can prepare a fine, elegant meal!" That will get you noticed!

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: Motoring Manners I: Key to Success

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson comes about at the request of a Pastor at my church. You can imagine how pleased I was to know that men are reading my daily column, as I had intended it to be strictly for ladies--my, such a joy to know that the gentleman of today will be benefiting from my writings! Of course, now I must be exceptionally delicate when I discuss such matters involving the gentlemen of to-day. I do not want to be the subject of any negative sort at the next prayer meeting!

Aside from the mildly ill mannered driving habits of those on the motorways today, which we will have to address in another lesson, indeed, there is a most important issue regarding the opening of a car door for a lady in the "age of clickers", as my reader so eloquently stated. As I understand it, "clickers" are the modern equivalence of a key for opening the locks on the side car doors. One no longer needs a latch key for entry; I can see the convenience of it all. Now I ask, dear reader, does the advancement of technology call for a regression in one's graciousness to others? I say not. Just because one can open the passenger door of an automobile remotely does not shirk any gentleman of worth in the community from his duties to the lady who keeps his company. Because I own a RADAR RANGE, does that excuse my serving dinner party guests poorly heated TV dinners from the ice box over lovingly prepared rack of lamb with rosemary and sage? I fear not. Here is another example for increased clarity: because the grocery markets now have doors that open and close automatically, a most convenient feature, does that in itself allow a man to enter before a woman since he no longer has a door to hold open? I say to my friend, take heart, keep your gentlemanly nature and continue to offer the car door to your lady friend, albeit by unlocking the car with your "clicker" rather than a key. Regardless of the technology available to you, the chilvarous touch you provide to your love should remain the same. The rules of proper decorum have not changed.

My dear man, you will find that your graciousness to others will take you far in life. You will be esteemed in your profession and a charming host. It matters not if you use a "clicker" to gain access to your vehicle as long as you assist your fair companion; that is your "key" to success.

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson once more is more for your man than it is for you. I did not want to have to address this subject, but over the past week, I noticed this ungracious behavior more than once, so I thought it best to discuss it in this forum and make matters straight!

When a lady and gentleman are walking together on the street, it should be just that...together. On more than one occasion, I have seen a pair walking and the man is at least five or six paces ahead of the lady, as if they were not even meant to be walking with one another. Dear reader, this is a most uncivilized behavior...we are no longer living in the barbaric age! No man is to leave his love behind him to wallow in his dust! Absurd! A man is to ensure the proper protection of his mate, and therefore should walk evenly with her as to keep her safe from harm's way. Additionally, whilst on the street, the man should always walk on the outside. The only exception is whilst walking past a dark alley, then the man should remain on the inside. I have seen recently a few Presidents who are lacking in this area when they are walking with their wives. Notice this action the very next time you witness a news story on the television--doesn't that look awful. Poor Mrs. President...her husband rushes off to meet the crowds with not a care for her well being. This is selfish as he is putting his needs and self importance over that of his wife. He is a husband first, a President second. A sad state of affairs...now that is the state of our union.

Now, the matter of informing the men in our lives on the subject. It is not our place, dear reader, to tell our men, especially our husbands, what to do. However, and this is not deception, it is our responsibility to encourage them in the ways of decorum, albeit subtly. Tell your husband that you are pleased when he walks with you and helps you with your balance. Let him know that you feel protected by him when he is in your midst. Oh friend, if this will not puff up the feathers and make him change his ways!

Until next time...

HF

Charm: Daily Duties for Dental Daintiness

Dear Reader,

To-day we will cover the most delicate topic of dental hygiene. I know this is a most intimate issue, but feel that we must discuss it without delay. A lady can be most appealing wearing the latest chic fashions, properly fitted underneath with the most advanced foundation garments, of course, have a fresh looking skin, a thoughtfully applied make-up, and a hair set that is lovely. However, all of that having been said, one scent of a bad mouth odor will detract from an otherwise dainty display. I say, dear reader, why spoil all of your hard work you spent looking your best by not caring for your pearly whites? It is just not prudent. I feel that to-day, people are in such a rush to get about, dental care just falls by the wayside. Don't forsake your mouth and teeth. Here are a few tips to keep your mouth happy and smiling, and your breath at its most lovely:

1. Brush your teeth with a good ribbon dental cream at least twice a day (don't forget the evening session!). Always perform this action before going out to meet with others, at a bridge luncheon, for example, as well.
2. Floss at each evening session. How can you go to bed, dear reader, with the possibility that you still have remnants of the days eateries lurking in your mouth? How awful. See if you dentist does not notice that you have forgotten this crucial habit!
3. If you have "bad" teeth, don't let them detract from your potential loveliness. See an orthodontic specialist at once!
4. Carry mints with you at all times. You never know when you may meet "Mr. Right"--you don't want to have bad breath at that time now, do you?
5. Carry a snip of parsley or some antacid tablets with you in your handbag. These will prove to be quite handy in the event of a garlic or onion emergency.
6. Visit your dentist regularly for a routine examination. I recommend at least twice a year. Be sure to take care of any dental problems (caries, etc.) right away to prevent further deterioration of your daintiness.

After you have followed these steps, dear reader, you will not only maximize your dental health potential, but you will also be confident that you are putting forth a charming and attractive appearance.

Until next time...

HF

Charm: The Short on Short-Pants

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson is one that is looking forward to the warm, summer months when the fashions change and we set aside our heavy winter coats and rubbers for something more delicate and feminine. Conversely, what I am talking about to-day is short-pants. Many of you girls think that short-pants are a "must have" for summer, but I must protest. Unless you have been approached by an agency requesting your legs for modeling purposes, you should not be wearing them. Short-pants are for children and not appropriate for the charming lady's (or gentleman's, for that matter) wardrobe. Even the most slender and dainty among you should dress more modestly--wear a nice skirt or some linen trousers. They are much more becoming--who wants to go around looking at someone's ugly, knobby knees? All knees look like that, so do not fool yourself, dear reader, into thinking that yours are attractive. The one exception to this rule is on the tennis court--then by all means, wear your whites!

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: Subway is Subpar

Dear Reader,

To-day's lesson is for the man in your life, so feel free to "clue him in" on a matter or two. Of course, when you explain what you have learned from my lesson to your husband, please do so after he has had a nice meal you have lovingly prepared and has had time to read the evening paper; you want to catch your dear one at his most relaxed!

I must bring to the attention of the gentlemen everywhere the matter of relinquishing seats to ladies on the train. I have received many a complaint from my readers stating that they have been forced to stand on a train, all whilst a man was sitting within reach. Gentlemen--I am to use this term loosely, why are you not giving up your train seats to ladies, especially ones in a family way, and the elderly? There is no excuse for this selfishness. You are the stronger sex, so how difficult is it for you to offer a seat to a fairer one? This simple action will give you more rewards than you would ever have thought possible. You will be graciously thanked by the lady or elderly person you have assisted and will be admired by others in your community. This can't hurt business either. Once your colleagues discover your chivalrous nature, albeit hidden to this point, you will be the star of the office and will finally close that big deal you have been working on!

Until next time...

HF

Etiquette: Mr. and Mrs. So and So

Dear Reader,

To-day we will take a brief tangent from our usual course and discuss a matter regarding children. It has come to my attention of late that children are being allowed to call adults by their first names and are not using their proper titles. My dear, this is most appalling as it shows a lack of respect for adults and does not keep children in their proper, subordinate place in society. This is, however, an easy matter to correct. If you are a parent, quite a calling indeed, it is your responsibility to correct your children when they err in this way. Easier even, when introducing your child to elders, simply introduce them properly as "Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. Doe" and he will quickly learn how adults are to be addressed. If, my dear, you have been lax in this area, it is not too late, so take heart, and begin with your revised parenting program at once! Explain to your children how adults are to be properly addressed and then enforce the policy. If other neighbor children address you improperly, it is also your responsibility to correct them. Simply state something like, "Johnny, you may call me Mrs. Smith". Johnny's parents may not know better, so it is your duty to ensure proper decorum whilst he is in your home. And let that be the end of it, unless of course, the child errs again. Be consistent and you will reap the rewards for your efforts.

When your children learn respect for others, they will surely respect themselves and will do well in life. Dealing with others properly is an art to be learned--from early on. Give your child the confidence he needs to behave properly. He is a reflection of your and your husband's parenting abilities--I am sure you want your family to be represented well in your community. You do want to receive that invitation to join the women's club this year, don't you?

Until next time...

HF